Give me a Xanax.... I have a Pinterest.

The title of this is misleading, because what I currently have going hardly constitutes having a Pinterest...however, it IS indeed getting on my nerves. It started innocently enough, as these things often do. I kept hearing it. “Pinterest.” “You MUST join Pinterest.” “Have you heard about Pinterest?” “Pinterest is awesome, you HAVE to do it." “You will LOVE Pinterest.” "OH MY GOD...PINTEREST".

OK, OK, so after much fanfare, I get an account. I'm feeling pretty special, because you have to ask to be invited to do Pinterest. I figured they wouldn't accept me once they figured out who I was and all.... but alas, I was wrong. I indeed was accepted into this fab, hip group. My initial elation at being accepted quickly faded into overwhelming dread. Be careful what you wish for, little girl... So NOW what? I'm "in". What do I do NOW? OMG, you mean I have to DO something? It is simply too much.

Even after a fairly detailed explanation, I still don’t think I “get” it. From my limited understanding, I look for stuff, (where, exactly?) and post things that I like on my Pinterest page. Hmmm… sounds simple enough. But for a hermit like myself, who needs other people seeing what I like? Then everyone will know just how truly nutty I am. Who needs ANYONE knowing that I am still searching for the Cream Cheese Brownie recipe from “The Dessert Place”? Or looking up how to make Hush Puppies? Do I really need all these people coming to my Pintrest page and seeing a bunch of fattening foods? Really? So that they can say… of COURSE she’s looking for fattening stuff.. LOOK AT HER. Seriously, she’s fooling no one. She’s eating CONSTANT hush puppies. --- No, I don’t need that scrutiny.

And if I were to post my “fashion”? LOL.. that would be hilarious. I would be posting the same pair of cropped jeans, a cheap neutral tone t-shirt-- sleeve length dependent on weather, and the same pair of dark green suede easy spirit shoes. No, I don’t think I need to be posting that.

Some of my friends have already commented that they are “disappointed” in my Pinterest page, because I haven’t posted anything. So before I even BEGIN this thing, I’ve already disappointed people. Why do I need this aggravation? And then, the worst part may be the fact that other people look at your “postings”, and if they like them, they will repost them. So there’s the added embarrassment that NONE of my things would be re-posted. Why do I need to be reminded in a public forum that I’m a follower, and not a leader?

This “Pinterest” is really stressing me out. So I guess what I should do is take some time one day, and make up a wonderful Pinterest page. I will post lots of healthy foods, beautiful clothing, kick ass decorating, and wonderful happy home ideas. I will MAKE a great life. It will be epic. Everyone will be impressed. And it will be a total lie. And there, in the midst of lies and deceit, I will live… comfortably, as I’ve grown accustomed. As Facebook life has prepared me to do. But dammit, at least someone will re-post my stuff.